Very old poem

When i was 19 i started writing poetry for a creative writing course i was taking. I got really into it and started keeping a poetry journal which i eventually gave up on... Here's the first one i wrote... i was pretty dramatic but in my defense it was the first boy i slept with...

I see you in my mind
And my palms begin to sweat
I wonder, why?
Yet
I let you come inside me
Get inside my heart
Make chaos in my head
Bend and twist
my thoughts
Lay me
straight down on the bed
You fucked with my emotions
Just to fuck with me
But i keep coming
Back for more
Pain
Heartache
Melting at your touch
I shiver at your kiss
When it comes to loving you
I'm a sado-masocist

I need to let you go
Need to run away
Leave you
Scold you Never hold on to your memory
Straighten me up
No more curls
Sleek
Slim
I know how you like it
How to make you excited
But i'm not that girl
Thats what you said
So dont
Fuck with me anymore
I can do it to myself
Need you to hurt?
Screw with my head? No
My mind is lost
You've left me
with a mess
But when it comes to loving you
I'm a sado-masocist

My thoughts are on the brink
Cant get you off
my mind
I'm torn
I'm lost
In rags and scars
You've left my seeing blind
to your intentions
I still think i stand a chance
You're shady as a maple
So dark i cannot see
Makes me crave the sting of
Wanting you
to hold me
Kiss me
Tell me that you miss me
Even if it isnt true
I'll still pretend
I'm not
Aware of your cheap trick
Cause when it comes to you
I'm sado-masocistic