Misadventures of two midwest girls in the big bad city

K-star and I are going to be compiling a book of the many zany adventures of the new york dating world. Such stories will include (though are not limited to) the following men, all of which we have IN FACT been on dates with:

-Those who think they are vampires and actually put in custom sized teeth at the stroke of midnight
-The ones convinced they are being haunted by a ghost who actually collects their fingernail trimmings
-The secretly married with 3 children at home investment bankers
-A sleazy boss of your roommate who makes dirty phone calls from the office phone and takes you to a sex club on the 2nd date
-Those who cannot get it up
-Those who may in fact be underage
-The ones that think "i am still in love with my ex boyfriend" means "sure, i would love to go out with you again, feel free to stalk me"
-Ones that take off early from a date to sell cocaine to executives of Burberry
-The one who shows up for the first date over 20 pounds heavier than the photo they shared with you online
-(My personal favorite) The boy who takes you out for the first time to see a documentary movie about his uncle's threesome marriage along with his ENTIRE extended family (mom, mom's girlfriend, grandma, cousins... etc etc) and you sit next to grandma while the movie talks about how grandpa is in jail for murder
-Those who while out with a book publisher state that he has NEVER READ A BOOK IN HIS LIFE and then wonders why she doesnt think they have much in common

And of course we will have a DON'T DO THESE THINGS section.
For girls:
-DON'T date pervy bosses
-DON'T think the flambouyant hairdresser is just in touch with his feminine side
-DON'T date Kevin Federline lookalikes... the resemblance my not be the only similarity
-DON'T continue to sleep with boys who have girlfriends, even if they claim they are breaking up... they're NOT (which you are stuck dealing with when said girlfriend calls you)
-DON'T try to date multiple boys who are friends with each other, it will blow up in your own face
-DON'T fake a British accent, you will be stuck having to change your voicemail message and screening your calls to keep face
-DON'T fall asleep while making out with beautiful boys, they dont appreciate it
Please, feel free to share your own stories and experiences as well. This is going to be a very exciting project.