tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25016083512452929542012-01-29T17:47:43.960-05:00allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.comBlogger1131100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-4845451476559237922010-11-10T13:21:00.002-05:002010-11-10T13:31:45.347-05:00

I've never really fancied myself a pretty writer. I don't delve too far into description or go off on a tangent of details. My phrases are more often short. I try to get straight to my point.The structure in my head is like that typically. Staccato sentences. Quick. I have an extra special love for punctuation.I often write of pretty things. Of love and memories, of thoughts and emotion. But I

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-9523019947490550262010-11-10T09:10:00.001-05:002010-11-10T09:18:49.236-05:00

<!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 0 1 500 2855 New York University 23 5 3506 11.517 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> 0 0 0 <![endif]--> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Times New Roman"; panose-1:0 2 2 6 3 5 4 5 2 3; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-2928691596238092402010-11-09T19:29:00.004-05:002010-11-09T22:40:50.292-05:00

My mother goes to the Salvation Army and comes home with two of the biggest, brightest cupcake wedding gowns I've ever seen. They're all lace and tulle, sequins and sparkles, and everything else any bride in the history of the world could possibly want in a gown. But all wrapped up in a single dress (or two matching dresses of varying degrees of whiteness).She buys them for $15 each. "The girl

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-30682524045243539052010-11-09T09:55:00.003-05:002010-11-09T10:14:44.145-05:00

Ilaria misses her group of friends and I suppose there's something to that. I've never really been someone who has had groups of friends, nor do I think as an adult I ever really will.I've always had a couple of close people in my life at a time and that's really it. I've had friends and acquaintances of course but I never really feel a closeness to many people at once.In high school I had a

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-14605337709202018142010-11-05T17:44:00.002-05:002010-11-05T17:58:36.056-05:00

I spend a lot of time writing about how I used to write but now I don't write except to write about not writing as much as I used to write and so on.And it confuses me. Am I no longer inspired? Have I lost my ability to form interesting sentences? Or am I frightened that what I write won't be as good as I want it to be and therefore by not putting it on paper (or my computer screen) I can

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-64881238162748339082010-07-08T13:30:00.002-05:002010-07-08T14:06:07.317-05:00

I've been feeling really old lately... and a little unsure of the direction my life is headed. I guess I always assumed by my late 20s I'd have things figured out a bit more but really I'm just about as lost as I was fresh out of college.My best friend growing up got married a few weeks ago and the experience really shook me up. Partially because I'm nowhere near getting married myself (not that

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-45048653723195200422010-05-20T18:02:00.002-05:002010-05-20T18:15:44.037-05:00

I have this friend... who will hopefully never read this blog.And let's try that again.So, I have this friend. And I hopelessly want to be with him in a not just friend sorta way. But how does one even take that kinda step?We met a few years ago, hit it off and he asked me to drinks. My friend who was with me when we met was already referring to him as my soulmate and I was pretty excited for the

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-11334590342120558922010-05-20T18:01:00.002-05:002010-05-20T18:02:21.407-05:00

And now I just realized that the last post was the first one I've written in 2010. Bad bad bad me!! I need to get back on track stat!

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-55109672531857244892010-05-20T17:27:00.003-05:002010-05-20T17:52:11.389-05:00

Once upon a time I was in love. That kind of naive, life can never be the same without each other, kind of love that you can only really have once and only really feel when you're too young to know better.I was 20 when I fell in love for the first (and only) time in my life. And at 28 I'm finally trying to cut the ties of that moment and move on.I've held on to Ryan as a back up for myself for a

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-55209021327521744962009-10-27T18:51:00.003-05:002009-10-27T18:59:20.446-05:00

We were discussing starting a book club when Sara first made the suggestion. Initially it was meant as a joke. "My book will be He's Just Not That Into You," she declared. "You bitches need all the help you can get."I laughed, of course, but then the brilliance of the idea started sinking in soon after. A book club devoted solely to self-help, a monthly meeting where we tell each other exactly

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-10537054586887324702009-10-16T16:30:00.002-05:002009-10-16T16:35:13.791-05:00

I've been listening to Lily Allen a lot lately, mostly cause I think she's so damn funny. And this one song kinda struck me in one of those totally self-obsessed "she is so talking about me" sort of ways except in regards to this song, that fact is totally depressing.Anyway, here's the lyrics, I may add a youtube post to the video later but the video is even more horrifyingly depressing I may not

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-63875408405690805942009-10-16T16:15:00.003-05:002009-10-16T16:25:55.812-05:00

Our small room in London had a bunk bed but we never really used the top. Instead we slept each hot summer night crammed together on the single mattress of the bottom.For the most part the top bunk was used only as a tossing ground, strewn with dirty laundry and a blow up plastic chair with a Guinness label which one of our flatmates had drunkenly blown 50 quid to win. Only one time do I recall

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-58906866630247872422009-03-31T09:14:00.002-05:002009-03-31T09:26:23.375-05:00

I treat blogging the same way as exercise. Its something I do in spurts. Nothing, nothing, nothing and then a one month membership at hot yoga, daily classes, organic eating... Then back to a gluttonous existence without batting an eye.Sometimes I get really into my blog. I get super verbose and can't help but want to tell people things that they probably dont care about but I feel like writing.

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-36650600750559230602009-03-20T09:26:00.002-05:002009-03-20T09:29:54.216-05:00

"Though dreams can be deceivingLike faces are to heartsThey serve for sweet relievingWhen fantasy and reality lieToo far apart"-Fiona Apple

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-7868041800038677842009-03-16T11:34:00.001-05:002009-03-16T11:34:59.830-05:00

BillowingOriginally uploaded by All Sex and PhilosophyThis is where I wish I was right now. Cape Town. Beautiful.

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-52958618363644412052009-03-16T11:17:00.003-05:002009-03-16T11:26:17.841-05:00

There is a haunting photo essay on Detroit's sad decline into abandonment featured in Time Magazine right now. Maybe I'm moved because Detroit is my hometown (well the suburbs of in reality but there is certainly a connection to the city we in the 'burbs surround). I grew up wishing that I was from a vivacious, thriving city like New York or Chicago (and consequently moved to both those cities)

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-89611543239549234292009-03-15T14:30:00.003-05:002009-03-15T14:37:13.692-05:00

(circa February 2002)In a different timewhen the sun shone brightin clear blue skiesAnd flowers started to poke their eyesfrom the cold earthwith life againWhen the birds returnedto sing their happy melodiesin the glistening of the morning dewI would see youand you're face would light upin a way that let me knowI was more than just a friendBut seasons changeNow that same sun hidesher face behind

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-38557638751024752032009-03-14T10:10:00.001-05:002009-03-14T10:10:34.481-05:00

Little ThingsOriginally uploaded by All Sex and PhilosophyMy second day in Africa I emerged from the shower to find a fresh cup of coffee and a rusk beside my bed. It was the little things he did, the trivial bits like this, that made me love him in the first place.

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-561290143355204352009-02-21T15:13:00.002-05:002009-02-21T15:17:02.919-05:00

This scene is basically the reason I think Gwyneth Paltrow is the most beautiful woman ever. She's like a goddess, a manupulative ice goddess. Love. Love. Love.

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-88500643205317174872009-02-18T12:20:00.002-05:002009-02-18T12:26:30.536-05:00

(circa November 2002)I hate cigarettesespecially Marlboro Lights cigarettesI hate that you smoke Marlboro LightsI hate even more that I do tooand think of you with every dragI hate that I'm underageI hate that you're younger than me and are notI hate that you work in a barso every time I have an Amaretto Sour I rememberliking it better when you made itI hate being stuck in Ann Arborespecially

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-36931502042667731522009-02-17T20:12:00.001-05:002009-03-15T14:39:11.087-05:00

Ryan and I both had copies of this photo. I made doubles of all my pictures when I got back to America and sent him everything I had. This was always one of my favorites, in fact it still sits in a frame in my room to this day.The interesting thing about my framed copy however is that it's actually HIS copy of the photo, a fact he doesn't know. When I moved back to London the following summer

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-48925170010166814662009-02-16T22:52:00.012-05:002009-02-18T12:08:31.331-05:00

Just yesterday I found out some very exciting news. Now brace yourself for eye rolling cause this information may just cause such a reaction:Colin Farrell and his girlfriend broke up!First of all, I hated his girlfriend to begin with. Well, perhaps hate is a strong word but in this instance my normal venomous feelings towards Colin's significant others were intensified by the fact that I KNEW

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-62414030069021927102009-02-16T18:25:00.002-05:002009-02-16T18:27:35.683-05:00

I haven't been writing lately and I feel kinda like shit about it. The new year started on such a great upswing with my blog and then boom, I suck again.But I'm getting back at it. Honest to goodness. Two people out there that read this do not fear! I will be writing for you once again ;)Starting with my thoughts on the worst movie in the world. Which I saw today. And wanted to scratch my eyes

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-89293631031611262222009-02-14T18:21:00.000-05:002009-02-16T18:25:01.184-05:00

Valentine's DayWish I had a sweetheartIt's Valentine's DayDidn't even get a stinkin' cardIts Valentine's DayI just have to sayIt's Valentine's DayIt's Valentine's DayAnd I didn't get no chocolateIt's Valentine's DayIf I had a heart I'd hock itIt's Valentine's DayAll I have to sayI hate Valentine's DayIt's Valentine's DayAnd I hope it finds you healthyIt's Valentine's DayI'm glad your stinkin'

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-17230878948311304482009-01-21T09:59:00.000-05:002009-01-21T10:00:30.125-05:00

Birds flying high you know how I feelSun in the sky you know how I feelReeds driftin on by you know how I feelIts a new dawnIts a new dayIts a new lifeFor meAnd Im feeling goodFish in the sea you know how I feelRiver running free you know how I feelBlossom in the tree you know how I feelDragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, dont you knowButterflies all havin fun you know what I meanSleep

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-29489203402137941142009-01-21T09:42:00.002-05:002009-01-21T09:48:36.887-05:00

Today, January 20th, 2009, was a historic event. A day for my generation to tell our children about. A day united in the hope that the world may soon change, for the better.I only have vague memories of Bill Clinton's election as president. The first time I was only in the 5th grade and knew very little if anything about politics. I understood that the president was decided through a national

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-15337061980226001992009-01-17T16:09:00.000-05:002009-01-17T16:23:48.567-05:00

"Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me." -My So-Called Life

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-50606700035687027742009-01-14T13:03:00.001-05:002009-01-14T13:05:32.086-05:00

So I am what I believe to be OLD now.Congrats to me. High fives and ass slaps to everyone.

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-69076597469060401652009-01-09T15:41:00.006-05:002009-02-18T12:19:19.077-05:00

Why if I think its so bad, am I posting my old poetry? Because its FUNNY. Seriously. Its amazing how dramatic one can be over something and then years later find it hilarious.I always hated the phrase "everything happens for a reason." I think that's bullshit. There are a lot of things that happen without some happy ending attached.BUT I tend to believe that "everything happens for a story." Good

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-36538817299877967762009-01-09T15:33:00.002-05:002009-01-09T15:38:52.408-05:00

(circa Jan 2002)So what's she like?Is she small?That was always my problemToo tallfor youYou didn't like thatIs she thin?Could you hold her upin the palm of your hand?You couldn't evenhold my heart anymoreThat alone is too heavywith griefIs she dark?Perfect sun-kissed skinThe only son to kissmy complexionwas youThat's whyI'm so pale in her shadowI bet her hair is straightSleek and

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-5424409276731431502009-01-09T12:50:00.002-05:002009-01-09T13:21:20.460-05:00

So I've been encouraged to change the name of my site by many at this point. Just 5 minutes ago Caitlin called out from her room, her voice echoing through the wall, "But you don't write about sex, there's nothing tawdry on your site at all, it gives the wrong impression.""It's a lot about relationships though. That was the point of the word sex." Even as the words left my mouth, I knew she was

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-46777752096807267842009-01-09T11:47:00.002-05:002009-01-09T12:14:29.511-05:00

A couple months ago my former boss at HarperCollins contacted me to help out with makeup on a video shoot. The book was called The Secret Currency of Love: The Unabashed Truth about Women, Money, and Relationships and its a collection of essays from various women, speaking openly about how money has played a role in their relationships.Since the shoot I've thought a lot about my own relationship

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-43074012351433585662009-01-08T14:59:00.003-05:002009-01-09T15:39:18.797-05:00

(circa fall 2001)in an empty roomsurrounded only by isolationthe beating of a heartkeeps time for desolationpretending to be strongbut drowning in emotiona desire to be heldand a need to feel devotionobsession feeds the soilfor a garden of confusionthe idea that you would save me from mewas clearly an illusionin an effort to escapefrom hopeless desperationI let myself believe your feelingswere

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-2472545270843778132009-01-08T12:15:00.002-05:002009-01-08T14:56:31.200-05:00

"I wanted so badlySomebody other than meStaring back at meBut you were gone, gone, gone"-Counting Crows

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-12606541535698069002009-01-07T14:03:00.003-05:002009-01-07T14:51:59.336-05:00

OK, I've changed my mind. When it comes down to it, the Isaac stuff isn't nearly as fun to write about as the other boys. His significance in my life revolving mostly on the fact that he left.Its all probably something I should be telling my therapist about, if I ever finally start seeing a therapist rather than simply spill my issues on the world wide web. Basically, the change Isaac made on me

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-772990669094314392009-01-05T20:01:00.005-05:002009-01-06T14:53:31.656-05:00

In order to represent the impact of Isaac's departure from my life, I have to first build him up to the extend I had done so many years ago. he must become a symbol of perfection. An unrealistic fantasy of a man. Beautiful. Open. Loving. Naive to the pain of the world and optimistic of all possibilities.It was the summer when I was 15 years old that we met. A summer I look upon now as the time my

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-68648108662532893582009-01-03T15:24:00.004-05:002009-01-09T15:39:46.751-05:00

(circa fall 2001)No more than fifteen years behind meAnd I've never known what its liketo have a love lifeI have never even had a like lifeBut here we sit alone for the first timeA drop of liquid falls on my toeOr is it a drip?DropDripI ignore the rainAnd hold your hand in mineas we sit it silenceThere's an unspoken connectionFrom your eyes locked in my gazeAnd I feelthe exhilarating rush of our

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-5533297456031372662009-01-03T14:14:00.006-05:002009-01-03T15:23:04.672-05:00

As previously mentioned, I'm pulling from my old journals for stories and while the two whole people who actually read my blog already know these folks i will soon be referring to, I thought I'd give a little insite anyway. Just for the hell of it.Three boys played extremely significant roles during the time of my life that I'm focusing on. Two of them have been written about on this blog already

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-18323126770727326122009-01-03T13:41:00.003-05:002009-01-08T14:56:59.504-05:00

"And you wake up to realize your standard of living somehow got stuck on survive" -Jewel

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-69872290268941286412009-01-02T13:20:00.003-05:002009-01-02T13:26:34.361-05:00

Alright, I admit it, I'm about to start cheating with this blog. When I was home over Christmas I found some of my old journals (I have like 100 of them randomly boxed all over my parent's house so every time I'm home I tend to discover another one). Anyway, one of them was from the college years, most specifically when I was taking creative writing courses, getting into poetry, and hopelessly in

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-14859227929429515522009-01-02T13:18:00.003-05:002009-01-08T14:57:17.558-05:00

"You begin with the things you love, you end up with the things you'll do." -Adam Duritz

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-71940482958241379432008-11-28T13:28:00.001-05:002008-11-28T13:28:48.654-05:00

My life is oddly wrapped up in 1994. Its the pivotal moment in my adolescence, a time where "me" was becoming less dependent on the decisions or influences of my parents but I was still too young to embrace the era as my own. I turned 12 in 1994. Started listening to modern rock instead of oldies and Broadway musicals. Tuned in to My So-Called Life, identifying with Angela Chase's angst even

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-68162232634329778672008-11-05T10:26:00.000-05:002008-11-05T10:28:19.956-05:00

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-48767200865070702982008-10-29T13:29:00.001-05:002008-10-29T13:35:42.007-05:00

My mom is just like me, only blond. And with much bigger boobs. Whenever she comes to visit I hear the same echoing response, "Oh, this explains so much about you," or "I totally understand where you're coming from now," and so on.I wouldn't necessarily call my mother weird (although on numerous occasions this is precisely what I have called her) but she no doubt has a quality to her personality

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-23866030619665291922008-06-10T12:29:00.002-05:002008-06-10T12:51:03.713-05:00

So my lovely friend Caitlin is currently residing in my home sweet home which is beyond magical to me. We're very similar souls and have known each other for many many years. Technically she is not my roommate. My second room is being rented out by the production company of a documentary i'm helping out with. The lead singer of the band being featured needs a room a few nights a month during

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-64254326893801063622008-06-04T11:46:00.004-05:002008-06-04T12:14:05.860-05:00

I would never pretend to know anything about politics. I don't keep up with the debates, know little about the candidates, and basically vote democratic because it seems to be the less obnoxious of the two parties according to my peers.However, I will make one statement regarding this past brouhaha for the democratic nomination. For as much as I know, I would have been fine with either Hillary or

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-61648066091884685212008-05-30T13:08:00.001-05:002008-05-30T13:08:22.310-05:00

This song is me. Not in the lyrics or even the music particularly. There's no quote I could pull out and say it describes my life in the way that other songs so often do.This song is me because it represents the birth of who I have become. This song was the beginning of the rest of my life. There is no other way to really define it otherwise.

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-57934728931766063432008-05-09T14:25:00.004-05:002008-05-11T09:36:57.979-05:00

I haven't written in a long time. At all. Not on my blog nor in general. Which is kind of painful for me to admit, because writing is really the thing I love. Or is it? Sometimes I think its just something that others have always told me that I'm good at, but not something I necessarily BELIEVE I have any right to do. "Oh I left my job and now I'm just writing," I tell the high school peers I run

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-11697734251842224642008-03-05T11:28:00.004-05:002008-06-13T15:51:31.502-05:00

So i decided that I want to keep this blog site dedicating to myself, my writing, and all the things that only my family and friends who read this actually care about...With that said, I am still totally 100% into my whole dating blog plans with CL and all the other singles events and such that could provide me with funny and entertaining writing fodder. But since I want that site to be something

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-1589725972924022672008-03-04T20:23:00.003-05:002008-03-04T20:24:57.547-05:00

I just posted a dating "ad" on craigslist out of boredom and curiosity. Part of me thinks it'll be fun to go out with the freaks for writing fodder... is that totally scary of me?Best responses may make the blog. Stay tuned! 

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-73332257327311834582008-03-04T12:32:00.001-05:002008-03-04T12:34:00.711-05:00

"Just a couple of painfully attractive Michigan kids trying to make a life in the big city" -About my buddy Kyle and me

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-86956365282262817272008-03-03T18:44:00.002-05:002008-03-03T18:50:19.049-05:00

"D and B want me to meet them at a party in Brooklyn, should I go?""Honey," I replied. "There is no need to ever go to Brooklyn unless you're gonna get laid."Thus, a catch phrase was born..."How was your weekend?" "Totally went to Brooklyn... twice.""Been to Brooklyn lately?""Its been a slow month, sticking around Manhattan, I need a trip to Brooklyn soon.""Sorry i'm late for work, but i had to

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-61250094632661100482008-02-27T16:31:00.002-05:002009-01-08T14:57:51.745-05:00

"Most people are together just so they are not alone. But some people want magic. I think you are one of those people." -Broken English

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-6558048140291458602008-02-27T10:49:00.002-05:002008-02-27T11:14:29.355-05:00

I have this little habit. Whenever I go to California, I decide that I must immediately pack up and move there. There's sunshine and ocean, scenic drives and melting sunsets. There's also my tendency to find myself in unrealistic situations when I visit somewhere glamorous like LA. Somehow I end up there for the Oscars, at parties in the Hollywood Hills, sipping champagne at the Chateau Marmont,

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-59033544949610210212008-02-26T19:25:00.003-05:002008-02-26T19:48:06.736-05:00

There was an incident in college where someone stole a blank check from my purse and cashed it for $800, an amount that I just barely had at the time. I noticed a week or so later when I deposited some money at the drive-through bank window and was given a total balance of the exact amount i had just deposited. I went inside, furious about my missing money. "It's because of this $800 check you

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-24166339419285019522008-02-19T18:10:00.003-05:002008-12-09T23:03:16.702-05:00

BEFORE:                       AFTER::                   Even the Cavaliers were loving it!

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-51799576117016661092008-02-08T12:04:00.000-05:002008-12-09T23:03:17.727-05:00

My photos that inspire me: Africa edition

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-79389495196171345712008-02-07T16:05:00.000-05:002008-02-07T16:38:17.415-05:00

I have always been an artist of words in my own right. The page has always been my canvas of expression, even when it was merely in the childhood way of diary writing. I have about 10 full journals from my adolescence. Elementary school all fits in own single diary, the kind with a little lock on the side and a pretty poem on the front (which I happen to still remember even though this particular

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-62850711306088424662008-02-07T16:03:00.000-05:002008-02-07T16:33:53.205-05:00

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-72115311973778696452008-02-06T15:21:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:34:35.676-05:00

It was early winter (or late fall depending on your personal perspective) when it ended. I should have known, should have felt the changing wind and understood that the seasons were not the only thing in my life growing cold quickly. Even now, years later, with the wisdom of time and knowledge of the way things would eventually turn out, the remembrance of that night still brings the salty burn

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-64803288016973836022008-02-02T14:51:00.000-05:002008-12-09T23:03:18.120-05:00

Six word memoirs from Smith MagazineThe work of the amazing artists from the Art Department Fashion Week updates from NY MagazineA good old fashion cup of coffee... mmmm...

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-74025697457827393252008-02-02T14:07:00.000-05:002008-02-02T14:23:40.366-05:00

Everyone has a story and obviously everyone wants that story told.When I was home over Thanksgiving my mom and I visited my brother's 5th grade class (my brother being their teacher). We had just gotten new puppies and the kids were bouncing all over themselves with excitement to pet the furry babies. And they all had their own story they were desperate to tell. "I have a cousin that has a dog

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-21122743902591866642008-01-28T14:01:00.000-05:002008-01-28T14:18:41.508-05:00

Well... kind of...While I am not actually doing any of the work I get paid to do, I have accomplished a number of little things that I have been putting off for some time now.This morning I took the puppy out, twice. She still has not figured out that she is supposed to "go potty" (according to the books, they need a specific code always used to tell them when to go, and this somehow has become

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-65539688700314982822008-01-26T13:22:00.000-05:002008-01-26T13:33:05.223-05:00

I left my job in an effort to "be a writer" which at this point means nothing because if what i'm currently doing with my time consists of "being a writer" there must be a hell of a lot of so-called writers out there writing absolutely nothing at all. Which probably has some truth to it actually.The hardest thing about writing is forcing yourself to get to it. A blank page is like a shark

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-55854864284500447192007-12-20T15:45:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:35:36.328-05:00

My quarter life crisis hit in a relatively expectable way. It was early fall and I sat at my cubicle in an office that I had hoped to leave before the leaves had a chance to change their colors. The temptations of summer Fridays, a lax work load and the comfort of a weekly check deposited directly into my account were too much and here I sat as the temperature dropped as quickly as my

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-48100850018414010952007-11-28T18:38:00.000-05:002008-12-09T23:03:18.322-05:00

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-72962828887551791042007-11-13T10:56:00.000-05:002007-11-13T11:23:34.505-05:00

If you were to ask me right now why I left my publishing job, I could give you an array of answers in no specific order:-I want to go to graduate school-I plan to travel the world a bit-I need to concentrate on my writing-I am in search of my life passionNone of these would be lies per se, in fact I really do have the interest in doing all of the above. However, so far my actual actions have

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-5787895554404162422007-10-29T17:39:00.001-05:002007-10-29T17:48:32.074-05:00

I love when songs use my name... There are really not enough of them. If you know others, please let me know! So far i have this one by Marc Broussard, there's one by Jewel and my favorite Sweet Emily by Leon Russell.Now if only I could find a song entitled Emily Rae as right now the only songs directly about me personally are: She's a Senior and I'm a Freshman (So it Can Never Happen Again) and

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-41771826557461854522007-08-31T13:47:00.002-05:002009-01-08T15:05:12.467-05:00

Written circa summer 2003 (while drunk)Video games at Gregor'sfucking drunk as fuck... and fuck is drunkfeels like the high school I never livedbut always wantedThe high school seen in moviessitting at the cool guys housegetting pissedwhile your boyfriend stares at the screenin a trance of virtual technologyand all you can think about is ripping offhis clothing-which would never have happenedin

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-30609901377250433262007-08-30T18:36:00.000-05:002007-08-30T18:52:00.109-05:00

"I think i'm going through a quarter life crisis," i whined into my dirty martini. I had made it passed the underage ameretto sours, through the down it as fast as possible vodka cranberries and reached a martini age. And i still had no idea what i was doing with my life. Certainly i always thought by 25 i would have even the slightest idea... but i was lost, and at a loss.Hal sighed, "That's

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-86941621107274368882007-08-14T20:24:00.000-05:002007-08-14T20:34:21.117-05:00

I have ceased to write in recent months, not for lack of words but merely the lack of motivation to spout them. I need inspiration however, and at the moment I know not where to find it.I saw the most beautiful movie this past week called La Vie en Rose, about the life of iconic singer Edith Piaf. Please go see this immediately. I have a new appreciation for life and love after watching this...

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-32888584698806875092007-06-17T16:03:00.001-05:002009-01-08T15:05:52.924-05:00

Bring me the sunset in a cup. Warm and smooth of yellows and fading pink. An enchantment unlike day, sweet with nectar from tomorrow's promise. Let it be silent. Please make sure it overflows with tranquility.Pass me a glass of early morning dew. Cool in refreshing tones of blue and summer green. A champagne flute of possibility in the dawn.Keep the day for yourself, I do not need it. I have no

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-36261012678276060372007-06-12T16:49:00.000-05:002007-06-12T16:53:42.548-05:00

My mind is an endless shambles of broken thoughts and shattered emotions. I feel and yet i don't. I understand yet think myself confused. I have found a piece of me in New York and lost a piece in London.I am vintage. I am the soul of a flower with the mind of a bumble bee. If it doesnt make sense to you than you're not alone. I am. Or am i really constantly surrounded? Sharing my space.

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-1091750014721471282007-06-09T09:13:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:37:20.246-05:00

..in fact i can't help falling out.Time to take the pictures off my wall and pack them in my box of memories. I realized when I was there that this was the logical next step. I sat silently in a car, holding back the impending tears, trying desperately to convince myself that what i suddenly felt was wrong. But when it came down to it, there was nothing left of my love other than a scrapbook of

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-15302438245212944422007-06-08T10:24:00.000-05:002007-06-08T10:25:19.317-05:00

Sometimes i wish i could die so that he would love me, she whispers to me, her voice carried softly across the darkness. It was a small, childlike voice which implored me, questioned me. Did i understand that sort of pain?Often i too believe only tragedy would make me lovable, i try to reassure her. But i am pretty fucked up myself, so i may not be the best to ask.Currently listening to:

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-50767862336563849042007-06-07T10:24:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:38:18.050-05:00

The entry below (A History Lesson) was written in the winter of 2003 when I briefly wrote a dating column for a university website. Upon reading the piece, Boy immediately recognized himself and apologized for the unknown pain he had caused me over those three years. Despite it all, he was one of the closest people in my life and we continued our disfunctional relationship.Several months later,

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-67891828236111442712007-06-07T10:22:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:38:45.284-05:00

Written circa January 2003Why do we bother to learn history? It's in the past, right? What is done; is done. As much as we may wish sometimes for the ability to go back in time, we can never change what has already happened. So why take the time at all?We learn history in an effort to understand the past to allow for a better future. We take away the hardships, mistakes, consequences and rewards

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-84175308319962040682007-06-06T10:21:00.000-05:002007-06-08T10:22:48.399-05:00

I once took a computer graphic course in high school, during the brief period when i desperately thought that working in advertising was my life calling (inspired by some romantic comedy starring Jennifer Aniston). With that in mind, the ability to create art on screen seemed relevant even if now I cannot even figure out how to make this webpage more interesting. We were given various artistic

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-43910527873312251212007-06-01T10:17:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:39:34.322-05:00

It often begins so simply. A slight smile from a stranger is habitually as natural as a fresh cotton tee straight out of the dryer. Its unpretentious softness a comfort in a closet of tweed and starchy fabric. Something as careless as cotton is potentially all it takes to feel at home. But with the simplistic ease of cotton we often forget the long-term reality; the lack of durability; the way it

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-35369731906259507872007-06-01T10:16:00.000-05:002007-06-08T11:33:18.360-05:00

The concept of cheating and its intrinsic badness has never affected me in the same way as it does most others who are as innocently naive as i. Perhaps its my disregard of the self conscious or the difficulty i have with emotion. Most likely its from my childhood.I always hate when people want to blame their past for things but in this case there is no way around it. I was shown the ropes to

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-3109953829649276222007-05-31T10:14:00.000-05:002007-06-08T11:32:49.367-05:00

I've often, in my more delusional moments, fancied myself a writer. Maybe not to the degree to which i aspire, but i no doubt understand basic sentance structure, diction, verbiage and all that other fascinating stuff that four years of an english major (and a basic primary foundation) aims to teach... When i was released from the sanctimonious walls of higher education, the tools to create my

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-35269009929830307952007-05-30T10:13:00.000-05:002007-06-08T11:10:50.645-05:00

so i keep trying to add a post and it won't work. i feel slightly devestated (which is kind of an oxymoron considering the act of devestation is an exagerrated feeling and therefore not slightly anything)...

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-57498841812847045312007-05-03T12:00:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:43:07.526-05:00

I never understood why certain people claimed that curse words make you sound uneducated, as if the alternatives were so much more sophisticated. Yesterday morning I felt like shit and I don't think this little detail would benefit my tale in anyway were I to choose to describe said morning feeling as crap or poop. I felt like shit. I think that sums things up quite nicely.Getting on the subway

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-3786200865789475122006-11-27T20:25:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:42:10.763-05:00

Dear New York City,I must admit I have been unfaithful. For a fleeting moment this week, I allowed myself to believe I was done with you for good, ready to stop this painful relationship we share and find greener pastures. Sometimes you hurt me. At times you are cruel. And suddenly, this other city came around and offered me the opportunity to leave you. It showed me sunshine and ocean... and it

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-41104243620799199952006-10-31T20:14:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:41:08.649-05:00

K-star and I are going to be compiling a book of the many zany adventures of the new york dating world. Such stories will include (though are not limited to) the following men, all of which we have IN FACT been on dates with:-Those who think they are vampires and actually put in custom sized teeth at the stroke of midnight-The ones convinced they are being haunted by a ghost who actually collects

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-42830754889689319782006-09-26T19:40:00.002-05:002009-01-08T15:06:46.176-05:00

When i was 19 i started writing poetry for a creative writing course i was taking. I got really into it and started keeping a poetry journal which i eventually gave up on... Here's the first one i wrote... i was pretty dramatic but in my defense it was the first boy i slept with...I see you in my mindAnd my palms begin to sweatI wonder, why?YetI let you come inside meGet inside my heartMake chaos

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-85662038626068190452006-07-06T12:00:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:37:58.825-05:00

My father, who is above all else my hero and best buddy, used to tell me that the Simon & Garfunkel song I am a Rock always reminded him of me. Mostly because I, like him, was immensely good at supressing emotion and convincing myself that I felt nothing nor did I want to...I always knew the song but I finally took the time to really read the lyrics closely the other day. If it weren't so

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-58658372994563876772006-01-12T13:40:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:41:33.698-05:00

Two years. Its been over two years now since Ryan and I were together. Since that heartbreaking goodbye at Heathrow Airport. Its been over two years since we were just another young couple, desperately in love but unable to be together.We stopped saying we loved each other a long time ago. The first couple phone conversations after I left London always ended the same way, with those three little

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-86855876736433916632006-01-11T18:33:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:42:22.891-05:00

Deb and i had our tarot cards read the other night... i asked about love specifically. When the reader flipped the DEATH card my heart nearly shattered. Was I destined to live a loveless life??"Dont be worried" she assured me. "Its not as bad as you may think."She then went on to explain that she can see I have someone in my past that is not allowing me to move on... and until my feelings for

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-410983754273794702006-01-06T16:34:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:35:20.319-05:00

I am slowly trying to find inspiration again. I can't remember where or when i seemed to lose it but i am slowing piecing together how to bring it back in my life...Finding it in old friends, old loves, old journals...Realising old music as new again, old fantasies as possible...I think i came to New York desperate to be different from what i was because what i was wasnt happy... but i miss me. i

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-82568411635005608622005-12-21T13:55:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:34:36.597-05:00

Kelly looked up my "personal" sign based on name and birthdate... It is pretty much exactly how i would, and have, described myself before..."Emily is an unsung hero, an undiscovered genius...and an unknown quantity. It is because Emily is such an unknown quantity that her heroism goes unsung and her genius undiscovered. Some people will blow their own trumpets from the highest hill even when

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-88280219829314146082005-12-15T18:46:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:33:40.703-05:00

For someone as unemotive and cynical as I can often be, I have no quams when it comes to getting into the holiday spirit. I adore Christmas, probably just as much as i did when I was a little child still believing in Santa Claus. Its not even the gifts, or the lights. Its not really even the trees or the songs. Its the energy. There is something in the air this time of year that feeds me. Shows

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-39297497889477279752005-12-07T18:06:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:33:07.087-05:00

I have had nothing interesting to say lately although i no doubt am overflowing with interesting thoughts and ideas... why are some spaces in time so easy to fill with pages of emotionally charged nonsensical speak and others hold no promise of creative reflection?wow- that was almost interestingly thought provoking in itself...almost...

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-8947168719658120952005-09-09T15:50:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:43:16.649-05:00

I am a lost child. Confused, alone, broken.I dont want to feel this way. Dont want to continue to be afraid of how life will disappoint me next. I want so bad to just love life. I want to feel its intensity and embrace each moment. But I feel sometimes like Life will not let me. Doesnt want me. Denies me acceptance to the things I want so desperately to feel.I want so bad to be in love. Perhaps

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-32786178921310730572005-08-31T14:43:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:31:48.266-05:00

While I cannot take credit for writing this, I do feel proud to have inspired it... Thanks Kel...cigarettes and ny fire escapes... last night i had a date on my fire escape... cigarettes and intense, soulful conversation...she asks herself... who am i? where am i going? how can i inspire those around me? she doesn't realize these are questions you are supposed to ask yourself on this journey we

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-349242112234320092005-08-26T13:12:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:30:44.416-05:00

Lately I feel empty. Its not even that I am sad or unhappy... I am nothing. Part of me thinks that is even worse.I have become emotionless. Things dont feel like they happen by me or to but rather just simply around me. I am not touched. I am not hurt. I am not joyed. I am not pained. These days I just am...Is it New York that is doing this to me? Kelly's friend told her the other day that we

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-46180151545956170462005-07-10T20:17:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:43:55.121-05:00

He makes me so happy...We haven't seen each other in almost 2 years and we stopped speaking for close to 1 year and yet he still makes me happier than anyone else possibly could. Just having him in my life makes me more of an optimist. Makes me believe in love. Trust in the world. Not feel so completely lost.If Ryan and I can be so close again, i think i could have faith that anything really is

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-60758736845050459602005-07-06T19:47:00.000-05:002007-10-29T17:29:31.135-05:00

Lost my job yesterday. i think i should be really upset. or reeling with anger... and yet all i really feel is relief. like this incredible burden has finally been lifted from my shoulders. i have hated every single day of my life since getting back from france and have been way too weak to do anything about it. it was like in high school when i wanted to break up with someone but couldnt face

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-9703890349249019262005-06-02T19:20:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:44:17.777-05:00

Ryan and I spoke yesterday. It was the first conversation we have had since the 4th of July (our would-be anniversary) last year when i called from that busy Chicago street, using a payphone cause my phonecard wouldn't work with my mobile. And it was like speaking to a whole different person.A year ago was a struggle for conversation. I would ask how he was- "Fine"... how is his family "Ok"...

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2501608351245292954.post-54174409493448377152005-05-26T19:24:00.001-05:002009-01-03T15:44:31.063-05:00

I have finally come to the conclusion that i cannot just sit around waiting for some sort of resolution to my Ryan situation. i'm tired and i'm lonely. i don't want to have to wait forever for something that may not even be there anymore.i took the first step today. i called tyronne at his work in london. i don't know his number and i hadn't heard back from my emails to him. i googled the paul

allsexandphilosophyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06489691712952069169noreply@blogger.com0