Drunken ramble

Written circa summer 2003 (while drunk)

Video games at Gregor's
fucking drunk as fuck... and fuck is drunk
feels like the high school I never lived
but always wanted
The high school seen in movies
sitting at the cool guys house
getting pissed
while your boyfriend stares at the screen
in a trance of virtual technology
and all you can think about is ripping off
his clothing
-which would never have happened
in my high school memories
since i never had sex
or a real boyfriend-
Three years has made a world of difference
in my life
as I sit here in this flat
on the other side of the Atlantic
watching the only boy
I've ever loved
and feel like I'm in
the high school life
I never lived
but always wanted
deep down
If only I was still sixteen
I could be happy with this existence
but unfortunately I've aged
and must grow up
beyond sitting in this room
getting pissed
while he plays video games...
like still in high school

Quarter past conception

"I think i'm going through a quarter life crisis," i whined into my dirty martini. I had made it passed the underage ameretto sours, through the down it as fast as possible vodka cranberries and reached a martini age. And i still had no idea what i was doing with my life. Certainly i always thought by 25 i would have even the slightest idea... but i was lost, and at a loss.

Hal sighed, "That's what being in your mid-twenties is all about, kid." He continued on about how everyone goes through this at my age, trying to find love and starting your career, complicated bullshit like that. I wanted to know how long this so-called phase was going to last. Patience has never been my virtue.

Neil Young had assured me at 24 that there was still so much more. At 25 i think he lied.

La Vie en Rose

I have ceased to write in recent months, not for lack of words but merely the lack of motivation to spout them. I need inspiration however, and at the moment I know not where to find it.

I saw the most beautiful movie this past week called La Vie en Rose, about the life of iconic singer Edith Piaf. Please go see this immediately. I have a new appreciation for life and love after watching this... http://www.edithpiafmovie.com/

Now if only i could find where i lost my impulse to write.