I left my job in an effort to "be a writer" which at this point means nothing because if what i'm currently doing with my time consists of "being a writer" there must be a hell of a lot of so-called writers out there writing absolutely nothing at all. Which probably has some truth to it actually.
The hardest thing about writing is forcing yourself to get to it. A blank page is like a shark infested pool (and not just any sharks, but more like the ones with laser beams coming out of their heads like in Austin Powers) and you just stare and stare thinking "why would anyone in their right mind jump right into this?" which is actually nothing like writing anymore but the point is that figuring out what to put onto a page is just plain scary. Because once its there, it exists.
I've always been an ignorance is bliss kinda girl. What I don't know will never hurt me so I like to stay one foot away from crossing any threshold. If I don't apply for jobs then I can't get rejected from them. If I don't let myself get into relationships then no one can break up with me. If I don't write anything at all then I can keep on pretending that all these thoughts and grandoise ideas in my mind will actually lead to something amazing. If I don't fail then I can still pretend i'm talented.
Ignorance is a lonely road. And a boring one.
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