Back from London

I have returned from the Motherland (ie England) with a new perspective on my life abroad. Alright, perhaps it isn't a new perspective... but I was able to see London through new eyes as opposed to those of the hopelessly devoted and pathetically in love. Know what I found? I really do love that city- not just my memory of Ryan as a part of my life there but i honestly love being there, in a way i cannot quite explain.

When I went to LA over the Oscar's I admit I had a nice time. The weather was beautiful (which in February is enough to win anyone over), the streets were pristine (remember, i was staying in Beverly Hills mind you), and it was amazing to spend time with Jules. But the whole weekend I missed New York and couldn't wait to get back to my city. It was different being in London. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay and continue to mold a new and beautiful existence there. I longed to walk through the parks, gaze at the monuments and feel that entrancing sense of history that exists in europe in a way that it will never be able to at any spot in the US.

Of course, it helped that I was staying in a 5 star hotel and dining at exclusive restaurants or taking tea at the Lanesborough (tea there is more than fancy dinners elsewhere)... Maybe this version of London has skewed my perceptions of the city. Maybe living there in poverty without Ryan to keep me feeling gooud about my life would make it different... who knows...

As far as my journey to find the people and things that I felt behind two years ago I was far more successful than I expected. On day one I visited Bar 38 (Ryan's former work). It was strange to walk throught those front double doors, part of me almost expecting to look up and see him standing there behind the bar. I had spent such an incredible amount of my freetime in that bar, sipping cappucinos over cigarettes that it gave me such a creepy sense of deja vu to be in there again. Even creepier was not recognizing a single person behind the bar as I used to know them all so well. I asked if anyone had been working long enough to know the whereabouts of any staff from 2 years ago (wow, 2 years, i thought to myself in disbelief as i was saying it). No one was around though and the only information I was offered was that Dario (former manager whose going away party had left me carrying home my ridiculously drunk boyfriend after he practically puked up all over me when we snuck off to mess around in the bathroom) was now married to Claudia (the South African waitress that he was dating in secret when i was there).

So I then figured finding people at their old works was going to be impossible. Who stays at the same restaurant for years at age 20? Abandoning the idea of being reunited with my past I headed back to my hotel to get ready to meet up with Jamie Cullum and his best friend Mark at their local pub.

The next day as Christina (Boss' daughter) and I were wandering Covent Garden I thought maybe I should look into Tyronne's old work. He was Ryan's best friend since childhood in South Africa and I remember he was definately planning on staying in London for gooud. Whether he was still working at Docker's was a long shot. I went in and asked one of the salespeople if they knew the whereabouts of a former South African employee named Tyronne. "Sure," he responded. "Tyronne works just up the street now at Paul Smith." Shocked I headed to the store, only to find them closing for the night. They did inform me though that Tyronne would be in on Tuesday but they could not give out his number.

Later that night, when Vin was dining with Sharon Stone, I took Christina to Rock Garden. Asking the waitress about any information she had on some South African servers from 2 years ago named Pieter, Lucky and Jaco, I was surprised when she pointed to another table and said "Pieter is sitting right over there- he's one of our managers now. The others went back to South Africa about a year ago." Speaking to Pieter I discovered that Michael was still around and actually still working at Brown's. Perhaps I had been wrong about the number of people who were traceable. I figured I would try to find Michael the next day (he was always the favorite of the flatmates) and returned to dinner with Christina. Soon after, Michael coincidentally comes strutting in looking for Pieter. "What are you doing here?" He askes when I approach. "I thought you and Ryan had moved to America." Obviously he hadn't heard from Ryan in a REALLY long time if he was still under that impression. So we all sat around for a bit, smoking cigarettes and reminiscing about that flat in Earl's Court and how often we all wanted to deck Ryan and how poor Michael always ended up in the middle of our fights. It was odd to talk to them and know that Ryan was not just down the street at Bar38 or waiting in the flat on The Cromwell Road with a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough for me.

Tuesday was the big one... the visit to Tyronne. The last possible link to Ryan. And as I am terribly tired right now, I will blog it at a later date...

Cheers.

Back to where it all began

My flight leaves tonight at 9:30. I'll do a full day of work before heading to the airport. My anxiety is already starting to set in and yet travel is still hours away. Maybe this will be gooud for me- therapeutic even.

I can't believe when i wake up in the morning I will be in London... and Ryan won't be there with me.

"You sat down next to me, like poetry to wine Our window looked upon a yellow neon sign I took your hand while you decided what to do The only kiss I ever miss, I shared with you The other cities hold a memory still of a place But, when I dream of London, I can only see your face I want you Or no one No one else will do You, or no one No one is the only one To fill the empty space I hold for you You simplified me down to slogans on the wall I took offense, but you were right about them all My friends are telling me I shouldn't waste my time But I can't concentrate until I make you mine I'm drawing cards and making wishes down by the well Who would've known I'd lose myself in that old hotel I want you Or no one No one else for me You, or no one No one else is strong enough To slow me down in time to set me free I want you Or no one No one else is fine Oh, you or no one No one is the only one To fill me up until I make you mine" -Rachel Yamagata

Counting down to Cannes

Sitting at the office, late as usual. I have a date tonight but I hardly care. I am finally starting to get really pumped up for my trip to Cannes in a month.

I had accidentally spoken to Sharon Stone earlier (I called for her assistant and she came to the phone instead to talk to my boss) and later found myself writing a letter to the producer of Basic Instinct 2 in order to get Sharon a couple days off from filming in order to come to our Cannes party. So to find her official amfAR (Cinema Against AIDS foundation with which she is a very active chair) I had to visit the organizations website. Imagine my surprise when I see a picture of my dear little Jamie Cullum! Apparently the AIDS benefit he had performed at in late November (which I met up with him right after at the hotel bar) was actually the annual amfAR gala. Well, this information spiked interest in my boss that he had not had about Jamie previously despite my mentioning his Grammy nomination...

So now Vin wants Jamie to perform at our event! I called my little British jazz boy right after and we spoke for a moment. The idea seemed to really excite him (especially when I mentioned that Vin would like him to meet him and Sharon for dinner in London to discuss the whole thing when he is there in a couple weeks). Yay! I would love if Jamie was involved. It would be great to have a friend around that week, especially one that actually knows a good deal of the celebrity crowd so I won't have to just be the random assistant chilling in the corner. How exciting!

On top of that, my darling friend Ben has recently told me of his move to Geneva in May. As Switzerland is indeed fairly nearby (relatively, at least) to France, I am honestly hoping he may be able to swing down and visit for the weekend while we are at the Four Seasons in Provence. Wouldn't mind visiting Switzerland as well while I'm out there!

Finally, world traveling and me have found each other. Eventual stop- South Africa ;)

at least, in my dreams...

I think i'll move to Australia

Did anyone ever read the book, as a child, called Alexander and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? If you have, my subject line will make a bit more sense... and if you have not than you may still understand what its like to have that terrible of a day.

Its not even like things are going wrong. But there is something about starting the morning off with a cell phone call from your ANGRY boss in France when you haven't even had time to put clothing on post shower let alone have a full cup of coffee that just doesn't make things feel right...

I have such mixed emotions involving my job sometimes cause I, like most people that hear about my work, often get caught up in the perks- the things like free trips to LA and France, expensive dinners, movie premiere's and calls from Sharon Stone. Its hard to really get into how much shit I put up with in order to experience these perks. I'm sorry, but I have no pity for anyone when it comes to work because until you are on call 24 hours a day by a man that likes to curse more frequently than deep sea sailors you will never relate... and more often than not the derogetory remarks are aimed my way. Talk about being cut down day after day. Unfortunately, I like my boss on a regular basis as the charming side of him that helps him land million dollar deals, is just that, completly charming. When he's in a good mood, he's a great guy to be around and most people who have only interacted with him in that type of environment would never be able to understand the everyday reality of dealing with him in this office.

So, here I am. In a job that has more ups and downs than the Blue Streak rollarcoaster at Cedar Point.

Welcome to the Big Apple and the world of entertainment. If I wasn't a detached enough person before, I am certainly on the road to becoming one now...