Back from London

I have returned from the Motherland (ie England) with a new perspective on my life abroad. Alright, perhaps it isn't a new perspective... but I was able to see London through new eyes as opposed to those of the hopelessly devoted and pathetically in love. Know what I found? I really do love that city- not just my memory of Ryan as a part of my life there but i honestly love being there, in a way i cannot quite explain.

When I went to LA over the Oscar's I admit I had a nice time. The weather was beautiful (which in February is enough to win anyone over), the streets were pristine (remember, i was staying in Beverly Hills mind you), and it was amazing to spend time with Jules. But the whole weekend I missed New York and couldn't wait to get back to my city. It was different being in London. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay and continue to mold a new and beautiful existence there. I longed to walk through the parks, gaze at the monuments and feel that entrancing sense of history that exists in europe in a way that it will never be able to at any spot in the US.

Of course, it helped that I was staying in a 5 star hotel and dining at exclusive restaurants or taking tea at the Lanesborough (tea there is more than fancy dinners elsewhere)... Maybe this version of London has skewed my perceptions of the city. Maybe living there in poverty without Ryan to keep me feeling gooud about my life would make it different... who knows...

As far as my journey to find the people and things that I felt behind two years ago I was far more successful than I expected. On day one I visited Bar 38 (Ryan's former work). It was strange to walk throught those front double doors, part of me almost expecting to look up and see him standing there behind the bar. I had spent such an incredible amount of my freetime in that bar, sipping cappucinos over cigarettes that it gave me such a creepy sense of deja vu to be in there again. Even creepier was not recognizing a single person behind the bar as I used to know them all so well. I asked if anyone had been working long enough to know the whereabouts of any staff from 2 years ago (wow, 2 years, i thought to myself in disbelief as i was saying it). No one was around though and the only information I was offered was that Dario (former manager whose going away party had left me carrying home my ridiculously drunk boyfriend after he practically puked up all over me when we snuck off to mess around in the bathroom) was now married to Claudia (the South African waitress that he was dating in secret when i was there).

So I then figured finding people at their old works was going to be impossible. Who stays at the same restaurant for years at age 20? Abandoning the idea of being reunited with my past I headed back to my hotel to get ready to meet up with Jamie Cullum and his best friend Mark at their local pub.

The next day as Christina (Boss' daughter) and I were wandering Covent Garden I thought maybe I should look into Tyronne's old work. He was Ryan's best friend since childhood in South Africa and I remember he was definately planning on staying in London for gooud. Whether he was still working at Docker's was a long shot. I went in and asked one of the salespeople if they knew the whereabouts of a former South African employee named Tyronne. "Sure," he responded. "Tyronne works just up the street now at Paul Smith." Shocked I headed to the store, only to find them closing for the night. They did inform me though that Tyronne would be in on Tuesday but they could not give out his number.

Later that night, when Vin was dining with Sharon Stone, I took Christina to Rock Garden. Asking the waitress about any information she had on some South African servers from 2 years ago named Pieter, Lucky and Jaco, I was surprised when she pointed to another table and said "Pieter is sitting right over there- he's one of our managers now. The others went back to South Africa about a year ago." Speaking to Pieter I discovered that Michael was still around and actually still working at Brown's. Perhaps I had been wrong about the number of people who were traceable. I figured I would try to find Michael the next day (he was always the favorite of the flatmates) and returned to dinner with Christina. Soon after, Michael coincidentally comes strutting in looking for Pieter. "What are you doing here?" He askes when I approach. "I thought you and Ryan had moved to America." Obviously he hadn't heard from Ryan in a REALLY long time if he was still under that impression. So we all sat around for a bit, smoking cigarettes and reminiscing about that flat in Earl's Court and how often we all wanted to deck Ryan and how poor Michael always ended up in the middle of our fights. It was odd to talk to them and know that Ryan was not just down the street at Bar38 or waiting in the flat on The Cromwell Road with a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough for me.

Tuesday was the big one... the visit to Tyronne. The last possible link to Ryan. And as I am terribly tired right now, I will blog it at a later date...

Cheers.